Bed Time Story: The Vienna Convention on Road Signs and Signals (Boring Voice)
Neutralize racing thoughts at bedtime with a boring bed time story using a research-based protocol for deep, non-pharmaceutical sleep.
The cognitive shuffling protocol
A technical alternative to the bedtime story
If traditional bedtime stories keep you awake, switch to the structured, administrative calm of Deeply Unimportant. Research-based cognitive shuffling provides a non-pharmacological solution for insomnia relief. Fall asleep to manuals, codes, and international standards designed to serve as a “cognitive shunt.” Unlike bedtime stories, Deeply Unimportant replaces narrative and plot with a steady stream of reassuring, nondescript data: therapeutic ASMR to soothe adult ADHD, break OCD rumination, and disrupt the patterns of executive dysfunction. Stop trying to relax. Comply with the standard. Experience the comforting cadence of the Deeply Unimportant.
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Sleep Story: ISO 2451:2017 – Cocoa Bean Specification and Quality Requirements
Structured, administrative boredom to facilitate rapid sleep onset for busy minds. A Valentine’s Day-themed episode that trades ephemeral frenzy for the immutable logic of the global specification for cocoa bean grading.
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Testimonials
Deeply Unimportant’s clinical, authoritative delivery provides cognitive focus to quiet internal chatter without triggering the alertness of a traditional story.
Dr. Patrick Callas, N.D.
Madrona Integrative Health
Restorative sleep is the cornerstone of health. The structural boredom of Deeply Unimportant can anchor the mind, allowing the body to settle into its natural rhythm of repair.
Dr. Caitlin Kolbuc, N.D., retired
Transformational Mindset Coach
Deeply Unimportant provides the structural calm necessary to transition the nervous system from the noise of the day into the restorative state of deep sleep.
Dr. Elon Bartlett, D.C.
Acorn Wellness Center
Marie Stevenson
February 15, 2026.
I appreciate your reading style v. much. Thanks.
Shirl
February 9, 2026.
I’ve tried many remedies, including adult bedtime stories. Unfortunately, I found myself getting too invested in the stories to actually fall asleep. I had no such problem with "ICAO Annex 5 Standard Atmosphere & Unit Conversion"—it was perfectly boring, and I loved it. Your reading style is perfect. The cadence, your calm voice, and the subject matter are exactly what I need; I wouldn't change a thing. Thank you for this amazing resource. I hope you enjoy reading for us as much as we enjoy listening.
Marie Stevenson
February 7, 2026.
I listened to this for a few nights with success! Just following the numbers while trying to make sense of them “in the stacks” soon i fell asleep. Thanks for narrating the numbers in this edition of the Dewey Decimal Classification System.
MugsMcBoo
January 29, 2026.
What a great, lulling voice. Even puts our eight year old daughter to sleep instantly.
skylerrsmithh
January 27, 2026.
Brain too loud to sleep, this is the PERFECT white noise that doesn’t sound like a misquito (typical white noise imo). PLEASE read a hospital ventilator manual, I’m a respiratory therapist student and would love to absorb some knowledge in my sleep. Thank you for this podcast 🙏🙏
Dr. Patrick C
January 21, 2026.
Never before this podcast have I been so satisfactorily bored into such peaceful, restorative sleep.
M
December 27, 2025.
I love this! My mum had a Singer sewing machine from the '60s so this is bringing back lots of memories. I like the mischievous quality of your reading. Makes me smile...
Gregory Jackson Haley
December 26, 2025.
Well I was surprised at how his voice was able I put me to sleep. 2 thumbs up